Skip to main content

TSgt (Ret.) James M. Adams Jr



Today's post is dedicated to TSgt (Ret.) James M. Adams Jr. 

My dad. 

For many different reasons we didn't really spend as much time together as we should have or could have done, and even though he wasn't physically in my life for much of it, I learned a great deal from him. 

He was a bit of a Marmite character - you either loved him or hated him, and he appeared not to care about that, but appearences can be deceptive!

I never really heard many good things about him - I mean he was no angel - but when I went back to Texas in '99, I got to know him a little better. 

To my surprise, so many people loved and respected him. All of them in fact, apart from my Mom's best friend from when when lived there. This was all new to me and I found it a little hard to believe. I mean I knew my Dad right? Apparently I didn't!

It seemed that despite his quirks and shortcomings (and sometimes his cruelty), he was (like it says on his father's grave) a friend to all! 

He helped many people who needed help and was quite selfless in that. That honestly surprised me. If there was an ulterior motive (maybe it was the Legion bar in every town) I couldn't see one. 

Within his post in the American Legion he helped ex-military, mainly Vietnam veterans, with getting some of what the country and VA owed them.

He was proud of this but I didn't get it at the time. I hated war and therefore all who participated in it. Not until I met some of those who served with him - although they remained tight-lipped about pretty much everything they all went through - did I come to understand that it's not as black and white as all that! 

Dad was annoyingly hard-headed (I can already hear some may say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree there) but he stayed true to himself, regardless of what others had say about him. He fully accepted all he had done wrong too. 

He would ALWAYS call me out if I ever bitched about my family - especially my Mom,  or anyone else come to think of it. He had so much more respect for others than I ever gave him credit for. 

I got to know him more than ever the last time I went back to States 10 years ago. Those three weeks in March 2011 taught me so much more about him. His past. His behaviour. Hell, I learned even more about me!!

His courage in his fight against cancer inspired me not be afraid to make much needed changes in my life. Thankfully I had enough courage to let him know that I was just as proud of him, as he was of me. Something I think he desperately needed to hear. 

Dad died 10 years ago today. 

So even though I am no longer drinking, I raise my vitrual glass to you Dad.

Cheers x

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What did she say?

Here's another appreciation/ acknowledgement post as promised/ warned.  These two people shall remain nameless, as I think it is better for them that way.  As a teen, I, along with pretty much every teenager that ever was or is, was feeling very, very self conscious. However I, like some others, found it went a little deeper.  I hated myself. I wasn't good enough. I was too fat, I was ugly, I wasn't smart enough, I was too poor etc etc.  I knew this to be true. People constantly told me so. Time and again. I mean why would they lie about that stuff? This was not just in my teenage years but ever since I started school in the UK, and even some of the teachers would join in. It even continued into my adult life. It was all around me.  This constant negative chatter from others, helped me build a very negative view of myself.  Then two totally trivial conversations gave me a glimpse that not everyone saw me the way others saw me, or the way I saw myself. That ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Better The Devil

Well it's a new day and a new appreciation post.  I can't tell you how much the one about David - the one I was reluctant to share - has affected so many people from my Facebook friends list they reached out to me about the post.  It reached people in ways I never expected, and in ways some of the people reaching out never expected.  So once again David's actions had a profoundly positive effect. Thanks again David and thanks to all those who reached out to me about it.  As promised though, here is something a little lighter than my previous two posts.  This coming Saturday is Eurovision. 28 years ago it was held on the 19th of May, the day after my birthday, and it gave me one of the best presents I have ever had.  Sonia Evans was our representative for the UK. For those of you that don't know, Sonia was signed to PWL records and was produced by Stock, Aitken and Waterman.  Just like Kylie Minogue and Rick Astley. And if you don't know who they are th...
Post a Comment
Read more

Three Sisters

Last post was Mom's turn this one is for my sisters. So to start off I have 3 sisters, well technically 4 and 2 of them are called Tracey. Confused? Yep so was I, but I only know 3 so this is for them. I realised from the last post that whilst I pinpoint one or two things that I have learned from people, it's never an exhaustive list. And the list here is not exhaustive either.  I am the youngest! The only boy! I have been teased, scared half to death and left in a laundry basket so that they can go out with their friends, but I have also had hugs, and kisses and felt pride from them 🤮 The eldest is Debra Churchill  My "little" big sister.  What I have learned the most from Debbie is that it is much cooler to be yourself than to try to be someone who you are not and it's perfectly okay to love you are! She's also taught me how to embarrass others - in a fun way - which of course I have used on my kids. Debbie if you're not sure what I'm talking about,...
Post a Comment
Read more