Skip to main content

TSgt (Ret.) James M. Adams Jr



Today's post is dedicated to TSgt (Ret.) James M. Adams Jr. 

My dad. 

For many different reasons we didn't really spend as much time together as we should have or could have done, and even though he wasn't physically in my life for much of it, I learned a great deal from him. 

He was a bit of a Marmite character - you either loved him or hated him, and he appeared not to care about that, but appearences can be deceptive!

I never really heard many good things about him - I mean he was no angel - but when I went back to Texas in '99, I got to know him a little better. 

To my surprise, so many people loved and respected him. All of them in fact, apart from my Mom's best friend from when when lived there. This was all new to me and I found it a little hard to believe. I mean I knew my Dad right? Apparently I didn't!

It seemed that despite his quirks and shortcomings (and sometimes his cruelty), he was (like it says on his father's grave) a friend to all! 

He helped many people who needed help and was quite selfless in that. That honestly surprised me. If there was an ulterior motive (maybe it was the Legion bar in every town) I couldn't see one. 

Within his post in the American Legion he helped ex-military, mainly Vietnam veterans, with getting some of what the country and VA owed them.

He was proud of this but I didn't get it at the time. I hated war and therefore all who participated in it. Not until I met some of those who served with him - although they remained tight-lipped about pretty much everything they all went through - did I come to understand that it's not as black and white as all that! 

Dad was annoyingly hard-headed (I can already hear some may say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree there) but he stayed true to himself, regardless of what others had say about him. He fully accepted all he had done wrong too. 

He would ALWAYS call me out if I ever bitched about my family - especially my Mom,  or anyone else come to think of it. He had so much more respect for others than I ever gave him credit for. 

I got to know him more than ever the last time I went back to States 10 years ago. Those three weeks in March 2011 taught me so much more about him. His past. His behaviour. Hell, I learned even more about me!!

His courage in his fight against cancer inspired me not be afraid to make much needed changes in my life. Thankfully I had enough courage to let him know that I was just as proud of him, as he was of me. Something I think he desperately needed to hear. 

Dad died 10 years ago today. 

So even though I am no longer drinking, I raise my vitrual glass to you Dad.

Cheers x

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wise Words

 For the last couple of days I have been showing appreciation to and recognition of people and their actions which have had a significant and specific influence on me.  If you're not sure what I'm on about please feel free to check back on my previous posts.  Yesterday I received a message from someone, very concerned that I was reaching out for help and that I was contemplating suicide. I can assure you that I'm not and that I am totally ok. In fact I'm more ok than I think I've ever been in my whole life!  This kind of thing is one of the reasons why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm feeling great and I want to pass that feeling on to as many people as I can. That's my goal here. So today is the turn of my fourth year middle school teacher at Oak Green - Michael Wise. I warn you this might be a bit long winded lol. There were other, more popular teachers and I don't even think that I liked Mr Wise at the time if I'm honest, but he had one of th
Post a Comment
Read more

Three Sisters

Last post was Mom's turn this one is for my sisters. So to start off I have 3 sisters, well technically 4 and 2 of them are called Tracey. Confused? Yep so was I, but I only know 3 so this is for them. I realised from the last post that whilst I pinpoint one or two things that I have learned from people, it's never an exhaustive list. And the list here is not exhaustive either.  I am the youngest! The only boy! I have been teased, scared half to death and left in a laundry basket so that they can go out with their friends, but I have also had hugs, and kisses and felt pride from them 🤮 The eldest is Debra Churchill  My "little" big sister.  What I have learned the most from Debbie is that it is much cooler to be yourself than to try to be someone who you are not and it's perfectly okay to love you are! She's also taught me how to embarrass others - in a fun way - which of course I have used on my kids. Debbie if you're not sure what I'm talking about,
Post a Comment
Read more

My "Microcare" Family

  Not all of these posts will follow a chronological order, so you'll never know when your name is going to be called. The following actions weren't big actions but they had lasting effects. When I was 17 I moved to Wales. A small village in the then Borough of Newport called Rhiwderin. Which means blackbird on the hill. That has no relevance to this story but I thought you might appreciate a little bit of history. I dropped out of school at 15 without finishing my GCSEs and I'd had a couple of jobs since leaving school but I didn't really have any prospects for the future. I signed up for a Youth Training Scheme and got an interview at a local computer store called Microcare Computing. Fans of Goldie Looking Chain may know of this place ;-) The interview was held in the basement office and I had one of those out of body moments like I did in Miss Amos's music class.  I am convinced that these moments are signs of something that is meant to be! I was nervous but was
Post a Comment
Read more